i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Randomize
