I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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