sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
