I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I think I just sharted jello shots
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