Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
