I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
