Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
