Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
