I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
