I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
