all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
