He is such a slut. More and more my type.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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