What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
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