i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
