you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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