I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
