trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
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