I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
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