Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
