Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize