Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
