No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Randomize
