yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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