I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
She's JV to your varsity
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Randomize
