Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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