I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
It's just like the Real World with babies
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Randomize
