Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
