Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
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