Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
