IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Randomize
