Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
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