is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
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