The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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