we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
