the new term for farting is butt boxing.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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