Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
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