is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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