why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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