idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize