Kiss
Puke
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
