i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize