he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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