does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
