Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
As shirtless as possible
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
