So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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