why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
