I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
