she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Randomize
