went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
When are your genitals available?
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
