Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
My pussy is not your playground.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
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