he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
