Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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