just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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