Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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