So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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