Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
