New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
