the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
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