Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Randomize
