I'm eating all of the evidence.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
