In the future we'll all be gay
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
