just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
